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> Fire Emblem: Mysterious Orb, Prologue: Love Abduction
Santouryu3
 Posted: Mar 16 2014, 05:17 AM
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Removed for potential Rule 9 violation. I have it saved so it can be replaced if it is decided that there was not a violation.

-Soadfa

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FEAR MY GEASS!

FEAR is the only way to keep ORDER! The SERPENT CLAN will rule and live on! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!
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 Posted: Mar 16 2014, 06:59 AM
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Marcus > Jeigan
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I'm not going to comment on the content of the story, but instead, a couple things that should be given for any written thing story.

1. Quotation marks are a thing for a reason. For the love of the goddess, use them.

2. Characters shouldn't talk to each other on the same line. Not only does this story lack anywhere near the amount of "(Name) said" for the amount of dialogue in this story, although I will give you that you are sometimes clear about who's talking. However, I'm talking about stuff like this:

QUOTE (Santouryu3 @ Mar 16 2014, 07:17 AM)
I have had enough of your mind games, Viet. Where is she!? If you ever harm her, I’ll… You’ll what? You are no position to negotiate with me.


Aside from the fact that the perspective sounds different, there is no way to tell that the speaking character has changed. I don't care how bad you may think splitting the paragraphs may look (something that should be done when a new character is speaking) it cannot look any worse than how it does now.

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My hack is still relevant!

Or you can watch some of my YouTube vidoes!

Personality schtuff:

Pokemon:
user posted image
Not sure if offended or proud because Mewtwo.

Fire Emblem:
user posted image


My resume
Welcome to the Friend Zone, I am your tour guide today.

If you look to your left, you will see the Waterfall of Tears. These are the tears shed every day, by boys across the world. Do not drink the tears, because, in large amounts, they taste like salt water. This waterfall is our main source of income, as we sell these tears to witches interested in using children's tears in a potion. Remember this, it will be on the test.

If you look on your brochure, you'll see the amount of people who've escaped the Friend Zone permanently. Can't find it? Exactly.

On your right, you'll see our cardiologist, eating in the dining room located next to the generic-outdoor-place-to-play. I'll go ahead and tell you, although there's always an idiot or two who ignores me: No, he cannot fix broken hearts. He told me to warn you that the first... let's go with idiot, the first idiot who asks him to fix their broken heart will die from a heart attack.

Oh, we're arriving. Now, your sleeping areas are separated into male and female dormitories. You cannot be in the other genders' dormitory after dark, because the last thing we need is for everyone to be having nonstop sex. If you're homosexual, we ask that you refrain from nonstop sex. And if any of you masturbate, please clean it up; we don't want to.

This will conclude your tour of the Friend Zone.


A wall of text explaining why tanks don't fare well in Gauntlets:
The issue about tanks in Gauntlets is; they can happily mow down an army of regular units in regular gameplay. If their speed is on the low side, the enemies are generally wielding ridiculously heavy weapons anyways, putting them at nearly 0 speed. And your tank can probably just knock out any threat in a single blow anyways.
In the arena, that's not true.
In the arena, your enemy will happily pull out some silver weapons, and use them. The weapon triangle will only help slightly.That one point of damage isn't too important when the enemy is critting your for 60 in a single blow.
Your defense may be high, but the enemy isn't limited by such paltry things like "caps."
You see, the people in the arena are just various incarnations of Marcus.
Marcus is not limited by stat caps, he just chooses to hold back to give the enemy a chance.
However, in the arena, he lessens his restraint. He gives you but one concession: That he doesn't just pull out his wang and end your life. And he is not merciless, he lets you run. Of course, since when can tanks run? If Marcus wanted, he could chase you, but he feels bad for you, tank, who made the mistake of entering his vacation home.

Quotes
[1:10:03 AM] Flame Emblem: user posted image

(Flame Emblem): Right now I'm wondering why a steel sword has the extra-damage flashing icon when a bishop is healing the wielder
[1:10:16 AM] Vansalon: lolwut
[1:10:23 AM] Cevian: lolwut
[1:10user posted image7 AM] Sqawl: lolwut

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vansalon: I was just wondering how the guy who runs life orb shedinja was teaching people how to play

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

QUOTE (Vansalon @ Jun 14 2013, 03:16 PM)
The priest looked grimly at the rider bearing down on him, sword drawn. However, the man nimbly evaded both of Jackson's attacks, an incredible feat that could make him go down in history.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[6:00:25 PM] Flame Emblem: Poor Herrik, forced to live without Fla- *destroyed*
[6:00:53 PM] Sqawldalah: I'm sure he'll be fast friends with Blai--wait he isn't female never mind
[6:00:56 PM] Sqawldalah: ;3c
[6:01:26 PM] Jeiganman: lol
[6:01:27 PM | Edited 6:01:45 PM] Sqawldalah: <s>[s][/s]

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Slightly Upset Nate
 Posted: Mar 16 2014, 08:46 AM
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Just some angry dude whining about video games
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My god, are you still gonna go through with this whole MK404 thing?!
Wow....you really don't get it, do you? This isn't as original as you make it sound like it is!
I mean you're still using MK404 aka Raymond as a character in your hack without his approval!
Even after getting so much flack about this, you still continue this bullshit! As if somebody would want to actually help you with this whole piece of crap!

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Grumpy Uncle Robbel
 Posted: Mar 16 2014, 10:10 AM
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First off, welcome back Sant!

Now it is quite difficult for me to share any critique, mainly because I share the same critics as Flame. If you manage to filter out those things, the story would improve a lot.


QUOTE (Ars Tahranthos @ Mar 16 2014, 03:46 PM)
My god, are you still gonna go through with this whole MK404 thing?!
Wow....you really don't get it, do you? This isn't as original as you make it sound like it is!
I mean you're still using MK404 aka Raymond as a character in your hack without his approval!
Even after getting so much flack about this, you still continue this bullshit! As if somebody would want to actually help you with this whole piece of crap!


Oh come on, don't be like that. It's just a story, nothing more. Remember rule 11, would you. Then again, if you can prove this is a rule 9 violation.. Weeeeell, that would make the case a lot different.

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[\Rob/][\boR/][\Rob/][\boR/][\Rob/]

SKYPE CONVERSATIONS
Sqawl: I guess that I should be thankful that it rained during the morning and early afternoon, so I didn't have to hear the FUCKING FIREWORKS then.
Robbel: So it was a fireworks orgy?
Sqawl: yes
Flame Emblem: And they came on my foot
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Slightly Upset Nate
 Posted: Mar 16 2014, 10:42 AM
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Just some angry dude whining about video games
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I'm just saying, if you want a different story with original content that is fine but I don't know if mr. Soto would even approve. Plus using his FE persona without his approval is not a good way to go about things. Believe me, when I was trying to "hack" back then I tried this very same concept. Santouryu is not the only big MK404 to try to do this. I myself got a lot of flack for doing so. But it did help me realize that without permission from said artist/spriter, I would have committed some sort of theft. But if Ray were to approve of this appreciated the efforts of fans to put him in their stories (and with all the crossover characters, I understand where you are coming from), then I would be a different situation. And now I also get that you want to ship Ray and Linoan but he did leave it open for the viewer now for a good reason than he did before. Plus he's made changes over these past years because he wants to improve on his stories. Hence why his hacks seem much more different than ever before. He is actually stepping it up, and I'm liking the direction he is going in with what he has lately. Though that's only my opinion. I'm not trying to be some prick. I'm just saving you the humiliation and outbursts of other people who will bash this. And I know there are people who will bash it for not being original or not being creative. Just letting you know what other experienced hackers might think of this idea. However, I don't speak for all hackers so feel free to disagree with me on this matter.

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user posted image
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 Posted: Mar 16 2014, 11:50 AM
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And the system is in ruins...
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Ignoring the eye-burning quality of the story, this is almost a direct violation of Rule 9.

QUOTE (The Rules)
9. Don't plagiarize. There is a very good chance that you will get banned for stealing stories, sprites, and hacks/whatever. If you somehow accidentally picked it up from somewhere, the proper owner will most likely notify you. If so, please remove it immediately. Don't try swiping something thinking no-one will notice, because people always notice their own work used elsewhere.

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user posted image
user posted image

user posted image

QUOTE (Duchess of Freege @ Nov 27 2012, 11:47 AM)
Indeed. In the realm of cookies, Vansalon reigns supreme.


QUOTE (Sqawl)
YOUTUUUUBE! WHAT HAST THOU WROUGHT?!


QUOTE (Kiroshima @ Dec 24 2012, 03:28 PM)
And suddenly, nothing happened.


QUOTE
"Eternal twilight would be hell, in both senses of the phrase."


QUOTE
I'LL TAKE THE TRIFORCE OF DINNER TO PROTECT ME


QUOTE (Sqawl)
IT'S VANCE-UEL L. JACKSON!



QUOTE (Sqawl)
What Karida doesn't know is that Kiro will probably be like "YOU ARE CORRECT, MISS KARIDA: FOR YOUR INFORMATION, A HEALER OF THE TEMPLAR CLASS EXISTS AT POSITION X 21 Y 14. I PREDICT HE WILL ARRIVE IN APPROXIMATELY EIGHT TURNS"


QUOTE (Kiroshima)
;p;


QUOTE (Flame Emblem)
You exist to troll me into defeat. That is your purpose in life.


QUOTE (Sqawl)
come back when you're a little
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM(kaylee)
RICHARD


QUOTE (Sqawl)
Vancuel L. Jackson has HAD IT WITH THIS MOTHAFUCKIN' AMBIGUITY IN THIS MOTHAFUCKIN' ROLEPLAY


QUOTE (Connagh Doohan)
It's like your on the road to being a goth and you're mostly there, but are perpetuallly stopped at an Ice Cream Parlour or something


QUOTE (Sqawl)
Ghandi is trying to learn "Nuclear Hellfire". But, Ghandi can only know four moves.
Delete "Peace" for "Nuclear Hellfire"?


QUOTE (Flame Emblem)
IGNORANCE IS BLISS AND HE WAS A SPECIAL WALL


lolskypeconvos

[8:09:06 PM] THE ASIAN TRUTH A.K.A JIMMEEEHHH: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━
[8:09:17 PM] Sqawl: ┬─┬◡ノ(° -°ノ)
[8:09:22 PM] THE ASIAN TRUTH A.K.A JIMMEEEHHH: FFFFFFF
[8:09user posted image5 PM] THE ASIAN TRUTH A.K.A JIMMEEEHHH: (Vಠ益ಠ)>彡┻━
[8:09:46 PM] Sqawl: ┬─┬◡ノ(° -°ノ)
[8:10:02 PM] THE ASIAN TRUTH A.K.A JIMMEEEHHH: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━彡┻━
[8:10:19 PM | Edited 8:10user posted image3 PM] Sqawl: ┬─┬◡ノ(° -°)\◡┬─┬
[8:10:28 PM] THE ASIAN TRUTH A.K.A JIMMEEEHHH: GRAHHHH
[8:10:29 PM] THE ASIAN TRUTH A.K.A JIMMEEEHHH: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
[8:10:51 PM] Sqawl: ┬─┬◡ノ(° -°ノ)
...
(╯°□°)╯≡≡≡≡≡≡┴┴*(,`~,)┐
[8:10:54 PM] THE ASIAN TRUTH A.K.A JIMMEEEHHH: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━ ┻
[8:10:57 PM] THE ASIAN TRUTH A.K.A JIMMEEEHHH: IT BROKE

[30:55 PM | Edited 3user posted image1:00 PM] The entire population of America (Flame Emblem): Chromx"Marth"
[31:01 PM] Vansalon: ...lolol
[31:01 PM] Yash: LOL
[31:03 PM] Aura: No comment
[31:08 PM] Yash: you'll understand later

[3user posted image8:57 PM] The entire population of America (Flame Emblem): Emmeryn is unintroduced
[3user posted image9:05 PM] Cevian: I hope you don't fall for her though.

[10:15:05 AM] Sqawl: DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY.
[10:15:19 AM] Vansalon: xD
[10:15:26 AM] Vansalon: ||||||
[10:15:29 AM] The entire population of America: xD
[10:15user posted image9 AM] Sqawl: DOHOHO.
[10:15:47 AM] Vansalon: I don't care that it's not the fourth day; I'm making that reference.

[5:59user posted image3 PM] Yash: I like crap sometimes

[7:09:54 PM] Flame Emblem: I'm surrounded by idio- *shot*
[7:24:17 PM] Aura: Maybe you should stop multiply-- *Stabbed*





Yesterday,

I watched three men die because one man sneezed in a room full of blood and shit and light.

Today,

three more men go in, cheap mops and each other's lives in their hands.

Yesterday,

I watched a man I admired gunned down for leaving a rose for a girl whose life was tattered by trauma she never deserved.

Today,

she doesn't remember, and three halls down I can hear her screaming.

Yesterday,

I watched a group of soldiers go down fighting against the corpses of comrades who'd died before them.

Today,

we test another sample, this time on children.

Yesterday,

I watched five men and women gunned down in an abandoned factory no one cares about.

Today,

it happens again and again. Every eleven seconds. Forever.

Yesterday,

I watched a man sit comfortably in a nice armchair, sipping scotch and laughing as he ordered a woman to simply stop breathing.

Today,

he gets the day off of work detail for good behavior.

Yesterday,

I watched hundreds of men and women in orange jumpsuits herded like animals into empty rooms that filled with gas and fire.

Today,

hundreds more are told they have a chance for a lighter sentence, and a chance to serve their country.

Yesterday,

I watched the world nearly die in a thousand thousand terrible ways. Sometimes we would have had time to scream.

Today,

I'm alive to write about it. You want happy endings? Fuck you.

You're alive to read it.

God help us all.



Cookie if you know where that's from user posted image

Hey, this guide is now a thing. Check it out if you're interested in Roleplaying.

[12:45:45 PM] Firefly Vansalon: btw guys
saying this in advance because it's relevant to planning RP things

I'm going to be out of state June 14-July 18. I officially have a job/internship thing/whatever you want to call it at the Lutheran Camp on mt. Petit Jean, so I'm leaving for there a day before the first week of camp starts (pretty sure I go a day early, anyway).
[12:46:06 PM] Firefly Vansalon: I'll have my phone, of course, but I'll never get a chance to be on except MAYBE sunday nights.
[12:474 PM] Firefly Vansalon: Monday-friday I'll be busy with the actual camp proceedings, saturday I'll be busy cleaning up (along with all the other staff) and sunday morning we'll be starting preperations for the next group.
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 Posted: Mar 16 2014, 09:24 PM
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Contraversialist
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I'm not familiar with MK404's work, but given what I'm seeing upon looking it up this could pretty cleanly be called a Rule 9 violation for taking characters without permission.

Please take it down. Otherwise I will.


Now, if you have expressed permission, that's a different thing, and please say so.

--------------------
Openly confessed to killing cookies.
Wanted:
Alive: 200000000 + a cookie.
Dead: 130000
Please bring suspect directly to Cedar Nyx. She will deal with the punishment of this felony herself...
BEWARE THE FRUIT KNIFE.

I do not tread lightly. I prefer cleats.


We're allowed to advertise in our signatures? Alright then, buy my poetry manuscript: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DDD6Y7Y

And maybe watch whatever I put on Youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/user/nihilonyxis


Proud father of Nih, the best virtual daughter I've ever had.
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Sqawl
 Posted: Mar 16 2014, 10:04 PM
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I'm hesitant to take action against this myself because it could be considered fan fiction. Still, I imagine that MK404 doesn't want his characters used in this manner, so I echo soadfa on this.

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Slightly Upset Nate
 Posted: Mar 17 2014, 04:17 AM
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Just some angry dude whining about video games
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QUOTE (Sqawl @ Mar 16 2014, 10:04 PM, {4701|141474} )
I'm hesitant to take action against this myself because it could be considered fan fiction. Still, I imagine that MK404 doesn't want his characters used in this manner, so I echo soadfa on this.


I know, right?

If anything, this idea (lest you remove MK404's character from this and instead change the story up with an original character and a different plot altogether, Santouryu) shouldn't even exist to begin with since this thing has been flacked in a different site it is posted and it is bashed for good reasons. And since this is not approved by Ray himself, I doubt he'd appreciate this fan's "efforts".
Santouryu if you still wanna continue with this...by all means. just don't post it or upload it to the public. From what I see, I think you're trying to make this hack solely for your own leisure. And I understand that as well. That's how most hacks started.
But I don't think everybody else here will appreciate this as much as you do.

However, if you want to improve and grow as a hacker. I suggest just completely ditching this idea and try to come up with something that doesn't blatantly involve MK404 entirely. Also, no excuses! Learn to take criticism instead of just making lame excuses! That is all.

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Santouryu3
 Posted: Aug 29 2014, 04:57 PM
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[QUOTE=Ars Tahranthos,Mar 17 2014, 02:17 AM, {4701|141476} ][QUOTE=Sqawl,Mar 16 2014, 10:04 PM, {4701|141474} ]I'm hesitant to take action against this myself because it could be considered fan fiction. Still, I imagine that MK404 doesn't want his characters used in this manner, so I echo soadfa on this.[/QUOTE]

If a thief steals your money & returns them a lot more, does that consider himself a thief for helping out & improving ideas? Ask me that. I've watched MK404 videos when I was depressed about my crappy life. Those who inspire give them hope to bare to live on. However, I was wrong that in truth, he's just a shallow jerk quite similar to Phil Fish who made Fez & pissed everyone off because he's idiot at best. Ask me away. I'm only doing what fits well to my persona & doing what I do best in life... So who's the true villain may I ask?

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FEAR is the only way to keep ORDER! The SERPENT CLAN will rule and live on! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!
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bblues
 Posted: Aug 29 2014, 05:35 PM
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@( -_-)==@)`.')
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QUOTE (Santouryu3 @ Aug 29 2014, 11:57 PM, {4701|152787} )
If a thief steals your money & returns them a lot more, does that consider himself a thief for helping out & improving ideas? Ask me that. I've watched MK404 videos when I was depressed about my crappy life. Those who inspire give them hope to bare to live on. However, I was wrong that in truth, he's just a shallow jerk quite similar to Phil Fish who made Fez & pissed everyone off because he's idiot at best. Ask me away. I'm only doing what fits well to my persona & doing what I do best in life... So who's the true villain may I ask?

Don't necro, especially if it's just to argue.

QUOTE (McDonald's @ Aug 30 2014, 12:21 AM)
I wanted a quick and easy way to increase my post count, but my god I'm at a loss for what to type in this thread

Then don't. I told you to contribute properly, and yet you persist in this.

-

This gets a lock.

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