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> Guard Duty, No signups. Relaxed.
Stef'ren
 Posted: Dec 10 2015, 12:09 AM
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Knockoff Stefan
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It's a rather enjoyable day today in the fine Crimean town of Arbor, a rather average city to the west of Melior, the capitol of Crimea. A cool breeze blows, the midday sky shine gaily through the clouds, birds sing their melodies, and the sounds of a busy market carries throughout the town.

Despite it being (or rather, due to it being) such a fantastic day, one man couldn't be further from happy. He sits, bowlegged, on a rather uncomfortable chair by a small side entrance to the town, keeping guard (In our tongue, this phrase translates to drinking mead and complaining.) Unfortunately for him, however, he had come to the end of his alcoholic beverage. He takes another swig to make absolutely sure there truly is no more precious nectar of his life, and sighs, dejected.

"Guess today really isn't my day, huh?"

--
((
Hey guys, I was told by dath todecided to open up a more relaxed RP to go along with Oncoming Storm for our "grand reopening" of the RP section. Keep it chill, shoot the shit, etc.
As the title states, no signups required.
))

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#DRAGONSQUADshasha

QUOTE ( Ryru)

    If you train your already good sense of proportion and get a better sense of shading and coloring... ...you really have great odds of being the next great customer around this forums and even FEND, congrats. user posted image
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Kawaii Seoul
 Posted: Dec 10 2015, 12:32 AM
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"Nah, it ain't yo lucky day at all, punk~" Valerie was pumped up. She'd never killed a man before. But she was a little too excited considering she was about to commit murder.

Valerie aimed her crossbow at the sulking guard's head and boy, did she aim it well. She quickly pulled the trigger before he could muster his resolve to gtfo, with her sights set dead on to skewering the bolt through the man's skull and into his brain. Only a miracle could save this nameless peon now.

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Shamison
 Posted: Dec 10 2015, 10:51 AM
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As Bobert was walking to switch shifts with the guard at the small side entrance, he saw something out of the ordinary. A punk ran up and shot a bolt into the guard's head.
"Oh Gods! Why would you do this? Help! Help!"
Bobert rushed up to the skewered guard and used all the first aid skills he had.

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ABUSED FOR SELLING COOKIES!
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SilverKnight
 Posted: Dec 10 2015, 10:52 AM
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Karroch lays silently in the tall grass and natural cover of the forest. He grips his dagger in his hand, waiting to leap on any prey he sees. Traps were set up around him, nothing could leave the sector alive, or enter it. The forest was silent, Karroch could barely hear his own breathing.

A commotion rises due east, and he shifts his gaze upon a woman aiming her bow at the Guard at Arbor. Karroch watched silently as she released her grip on the string, sending that arrow straight into the guard's skull. She seemed excited. Little did she know she stood right above a trap set by Karroch to capture wildlife for food, and the archer's position shifted ever so slightly upon firing the bow.

"Heh. Never seen a human captured by one of my traps before," Karroch mutters to himself, and gets up to go deal with the girl.

The young woman swings helpless and upside down from the tree, both legs ensnared by a rope set by the master hunter.

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"I don't know. The laguz tribes cannot interbreed, I know that much. However, it seems possible, though rare, for a child to be born to beorc and laguz parents. But once the bloodlines have mingled, the trace of it can remain hidden for countless generations. Have I violated the goddess's laws? Have my parents? No. Whatever happened was done by some forgotten ancestor. My parents are beorc, as were their parents before them. I do not know who is responsible for what I am. But now, after many generations, their sin has appeared in me. I bear no guilt, but the badge of impurity is mine to wear." -Stefan

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Stef'ren
 Posted: Dec 10 2015, 11:20 AM
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It seems reality has taken a strange, twispy~topsy flipsy~flobbly turn on this fantastic day, and the fabric of reality had ripped into pieces. Many, in fact. Or rather, at least as many as it took for many different versions of the same event to happen all at once. An aspiring has been hung by her feet, skewered, turned into a vase, and spontaneously combusted. A hunter has simultaneously existed, yet at the same time did not. A well-meaning young guard had been wearing a fabulous bow-tie in one reality, and in another had been completely naked.
It seems that fate had transpired to be in the generic guard's favour, however, and once the gods of space-time had this right mess sorted out, a rather peculiar combination occurred.

Valerie's crossbow had been replaced by a squirt gun, a ballistic invention beyond its time, Bobert had simply walked up as he normally would to begin his shift, and Karroch had become part tree himself. Our guard, who shall now be referred to as Robert for simplicity's sake, had turned into a slightly shorter version of himself. He notes this, along with his wetness.

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#DRAGONSQUADshasha

QUOTE ( Ryru)

    If you train your already good sense of proportion and get a better sense of shading and coloring... ...you really have great odds of being the next great customer around this forums and even FEND, congrats. user posted image
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Grumpy Uncle Robbel
 Posted: Dec 10 2015, 11:26 AM
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"Ahahahahahahaha! It worked! IT WORKED!" screamed Brill Iant, the local scientist of the town while running and jumping. "Finally my days of thinkering are over! I don't know how I did it, but look! LOOK!"

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[\Rob/][\boR/][\Rob/][\boR/][\Rob/]

SKYPE CONVERSATIONS
Sqawl: I guess that I should be thankful that it rained during the morning and early afternoon, so I didn't have to hear the FUCKING FIREWORKS then.
Robbel: So it was a fireworks orgy?
Sqawl: yes
Flame Emblem: And they came on my foot
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SilverKnight
 Posted: Dec 10 2015, 12:31 PM
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Freed of the mortal coil binding him to his body, the former hunter now harnessed his strength as a part-tree amalgamation. Karroch shakes his roots from the soil and sprouts bark legs, moving much like the Ents of legend. Perhaps he now is one? Regardless, Karroch makes his way over to the young woman no longer ensnared by his trap. Now he is the trap! Vines shoot out from all over Karroch, capturing the young woman in a binding. Karroch then sinks back into the earth and maintains tree form. The young woman dangles helplessly once more, though this time Karroch isn't watching from a distance.

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"I don't know. The laguz tribes cannot interbreed, I know that much. However, it seems possible, though rare, for a child to be born to beorc and laguz parents. But once the bloodlines have mingled, the trace of it can remain hidden for countless generations. Have I violated the goddess's laws? Have my parents? No. Whatever happened was done by some forgotten ancestor. My parents are beorc, as were their parents before them. I do not know who is responsible for what I am. But now, after many generations, their sin has appeared in me. I bear no guilt, but the badge of impurity is mine to wear." -Stefan

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WOW

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many dogez

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SUCH SIZE
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 Posted: Dec 10 2015, 06:22 PM
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The Original
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Dath shook his head as the chaos clattered around him.

"Why did I join this RP...?" He wondered aloud to himself, as he drained the last of his ale.

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Stef'ren
 Posted: Dec 10 2015, 06:50 PM
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Damnit, Rob

It seems that a rather odd change has come over the world. People and places have phased into existence, thanks to that right tiff earlier. One would think that the effects of such an event would remain extremely localized, but apparently not so.
As if to underscore this fact, a massive tavern falls out of the sky, and lands smack dab in the center of town, crushing a few people and market stands in a rather comical(though still gruesome) fashion. Seems like a fine establishment, but it's probably a right mess inside thanks to the unfortunate displacement it suffered. Perhaps our valiant nobodies would fancy a pint from the unbroken casket, or perhaps a proper good pie from whoever runs the establishment?

Robert has outright fainted, the sight of an ent that seems to be attempting to sodomize his would-be murderer underscored by the sound of a massive crash in the background has overwhelmed his mind.

--------------------
#DRAGONSQUADshasha

QUOTE ( Ryru)

    If you train your already good sense of proportion and get a better sense of shading and coloring... ...you really have great odds of being the next great customer around this forums and even FEND, congrats. user posted image
PM
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 Posted: Dec 10 2015, 07:07 PM
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The Original
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"What the hell just happened?" Dath shouted, before a pillar crushed his spine, hilariously giving Dath an out of this RP.

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Kawaii Seoul
 Posted: Dec 10 2015, 09:08 PM
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In utter shock of what had just happened - that her bolt had transformed into a mostly harmless stream of water, and that her crossbow had turned into some strange sort of squirtgun which frankly shouldn't exist - Valerie's surprise at this turn of events made her blind to the threat of the perverted tree, Karroch.

Soon, earthly vines had enveloped Valerie at all sides, and her mobility was crushed by the plant's conscription. All she could muster were a few words in desperation, "P-please senpai. Don't do this... It's my first time..." as her face flushed into a cherry red tone. "I-I'm sorry, senpai. I won't try to kill anyone again. I promise, so p-please stop." Yet, the vines tightened the more she plead. The vines never truly suffocated her; it was taking joy in her torment, but it also seemed to be enjoying itself in other, even more amoral ways. It was as if this tree had the conscience of a misogynistic sexual criminal, though as everyone knows trees aren't like that. Otherwise, I could swear this whole scenario was a cheap shot at a hentai joke.

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SilverKnight
 Posted: Dec 10 2015, 09:11 PM
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Karroch eventually gets bored of preparing to sodomize the dangling to-be murderer, and just leaves. The chaos in the town seems like a much better place to terrorize. The ent wanders his way over to the town where he encounters a crowd of people outside the gates. They held up signs, and seemed to go by the, "PETT;" People for Ethical Treatment of Trees. Karroch slowly walked closer, until a small man by the name of Ivan rushed over to Karroch, standing in awe of this site.

"I'm Ivan! I speak for the trees! Are you feeling marginalized by the oppressor beorc who use their micro-aggression to stereotype us Arbor-kin?"

"No."

"Oh, well, look at this oppressor!"

Ivan walked over to some random citizen and spilled a bucket of mulch and leaves over his head.

"That's what you deserve for marginalizing these majestic creatures," yelled Ivan.

Karroch shrugged and stepped on all of the PETT, killing most of them in the process of making his way towards the gate. What an experience it was.

--------------------
"I don't know. The laguz tribes cannot interbreed, I know that much. However, it seems possible, though rare, for a child to be born to beorc and laguz parents. But once the bloodlines have mingled, the trace of it can remain hidden for countless generations. Have I violated the goddess's laws? Have my parents? No. Whatever happened was done by some forgotten ancestor. My parents are beorc, as were their parents before them. I do not know who is responsible for what I am. But now, after many generations, their sin has appeared in me. I bear no guilt, but the badge of impurity is mine to wear." -Stefan

user posted image

user posted image

WOW

such signatureuser posted image
many dogez

user posted imageuser posted image
SUCH SIZE
PM
^
Shamison
 Posted: Dec 12 2015, 01:04 PM
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Bobert went up to Robert and woke him. He explained that it was time for him to go home. Bobert then took over guard duty and started watching the tree attack the civilian.

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ABUSED FOR SELLING COOKIES!
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